3 Steps on How to Choose Growth
Almost 28 years ago, when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I was told that “my life as I knew it was over.” In one sense, that neurologist was right — life as I knew it did change — but not in the way he meant. He spoke from a place of limitation; I chose to look from a place of possibility. It took time, honesty, and a fair bit of stumbling, but I eventually realised that MS wasn’t who I was. It was simply one part of me, and it was up to me to decide how I would live the rest of my life. I chose to grow.
I’m sure everyone reading this has faced their own challenges, obstacles or moments where life felt impossibly heavy — and if you haven’t yet, you will. Life doesn’t come with a guarantee of smooth roads. Here in Victoria, we know all too well about potholes. You can let them stop you, or you can learn to navigate around them by using three simple approaches.
1. Pause before reacting
When something hits hard, our first instinct is usually emotional. Frustration, fear, anger — all perfectly human. But taking even a moment to breathe creates space to think clearly. That small pause can be the difference between spiralling and responding with intention.
When that neurologist delivered the news, I was shattered. I was ready to give my husband everything, leave our home, and return to Canada. But he gently encouraged me to stop, breathe, and seek information — something the neurologist hadn’t provided at all. That pause changed the direction of my life.
2. Focus on what you can control
So much of life sits outside our influence. We can’t control what people say, what happens next, or which potholes appear. But we can control our choices, our effort, and how we show up.
I couldn’t control the course my MS would take. What I could control was how I lived with it — staying as fit as possible, prioritising my health, and accepting it as just one part of me, not the whole story.
3. Be willing to pivot
Growth rarely follows a straight line. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is shift direction, adjust expectations, or rethink what the path should look like. Pivoting isn’t giving up — it’s adapting.
In the beginning, I believed using a walking stick or a wheelchair meant surrendering to MS. I fought the idea for years. But when I finally chose to pivot — leaving full-time work, adjusting how I moved through the world — I discovered those tools didn’t take life away from me. They allowed me to keep living it, just in a different way.
Choosing growth is never a one-time decision — it’s something we recommit to again and again as life presents new twists, new challenges, and new opportunities. The potholes never stop appearing, but neither does our capacity to rise, adapt and keep moving forward. When we pause, focus on what we can control, and stay open to pivoting, we don’t just survive adversity — we evolve through it. And that choice, every time, is where real strength begins. Let’s keep choosing growth, no matter what the road looks like.
