Life Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Joyful

If someone had asked me years ago what a joyful life looked like, I probably would have described a life where everything was going according to plan.

No setbacks. No illness. No crashes. No disappointments.

But life has taught me something very different.

Joy isn’t the absence of hardship. Joy is what we choose to notice despite it.

Throughout my life I’ve faced moments that could easily have defined me. Being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis changed the future I thought I was going to have. There have been health issues, and there was the devastating crash at the Tokyo Paralympics that left me with a lot of skin off, a collapsed lung and unable to fly home for two weeks.

None of those experiences were joyful.

But hidden inside each one was something that was.

After my crash in Tokyo, I could have focused entirely on everything I had lost. Instead, I discovered something unexpected. I became, quite possibly, the only athlete from the Olympic Games or the Paralympic Games who stayed behind and became a tourist.

One of our staff from the games team, Gillian, stayed with me while I recovered. We became good friends. We explored parts of Tokyo we never expected to see. We wandered through beautiful gardens, discovered quiet streets, enjoyed incredible food and simply spent time together without the pressure of racing schedules.

Gillian and I in the Tokyo Tower overlooking Tokyo

Would I ever choose to have that crash? Absolutely not.

Would I choose those memories? Every single time.

That’s the funny thing about joy.

It often arrives in ways we would never have expected.

These days, joy isn’t found in medals or standing on top of a podium.

It’s found riding my bike with friends, feeling the wind on my face and remembering that while I can no longer run, I can still ride. Every ride reminds me of the freedom that movement gives me.

It’s sitting around the table with family, celebrating my mum’s birthday and listening to stories that become richer every year.

It’s catching up with friends over coffee.

It’s watching someone discover confidence they never knew they had after hearing me speak.

It’s receiving a message from someone who says, “Your story helped me take that first step.”

The older I get, the more I realise that joy isn’t usually found in the extraordinary moments. It’s built from hundreds of ordinary ones. The problem is, we’re often so busy chasing the next achievement that we forget to notice what’s already in front of us.

We tell ourselves we’ll be happy when we get the promotion. When we lose the weight. When we retire. When life becomes easier.

But what if joy has been waiting for us all along?

One of the principles in my FORCE methodology is Embrace the Positives.

That doesn’t mean ignoring life’s difficulties or pretending everything is wonderful. It means asking a different question when things don’t go our way.

Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?”

Ask, “What can I still be grateful for?”

“What opportunity is hidden here?”

“What good can I find today?”

Sometimes the answer is something significant.

Sometimes it’s simply that the sun is shining, someone made you laugh, or you enjoyed a great cup of coffee.

Those small moments matter because they remind us that life isn’t measured only by our biggest achievements. It’s measured by how fully we experience the moments in between.

If you spend your life waiting for perfect circumstances before allowing yourself to feel joy, you may be waiting forever. Life will always have challenges. Plans will change. People will disappoint us. Our bodies will change. Unexpected things will happen.

But joy can exist alongside all of it. It doesn’t ask for a perfect life. It simply asks us to notice what’s already good.

Today, take a moment to ask yourself one simple question:

What brought me joy today?

You might be surprised by how many answers you find.

Because when we begin looking for joy, we discover it has been quietly walking beside us all along.