What Is Your Internal Relationship Like?

We spend so much time thinking about our relationships with other people.

Are we a good partner? A good friend? A good parent? A good colleague?

But there is one relationship we often overlook — the relationship we have with ourselves.

So, let me ask you…

What is your internal relationship like?

Are you happy within yourself? Do you like the person you see in the mirror? Do you celebrate your strengths, or are you constantly focusing on what you think you lack?

And perhaps most importantly, do you love the person you are?

I think most of us would admit that we compare ourselves to others. I certainly do.

For years, I compared my body to the women I raced against in para-cycling. I would look at their bodies and wonder why mine didn't look like theirs. Then I had to stop and remind myself of something pretty obvious. I was almost twice their age!

Of course my body wasn't going to look the same. But more importantly, their bodies weren't supposed to look like mine, and mine wasn't supposed to look like theirs. We were different people, with different genetics, different histories, different lives and different journeys.

And yet, I was judging myself against their starting point.

We do this in so many other areas of life too.

Perhaps you're starting a new business and comparing yourself to someone who has been doing it for ten years.

Maybe you're taking up a new sport and comparing yourself to someone who has trained for years.

Perhaps you're writing your first book, giving your first keynote, changing careers or simply trying to make a different life for yourself and you're looking at someone who appears to have it all figured out.

But you're comparing your beginning to someone else's middle.

They have a head start.

That doesn't mean you can't get there. It simply means you need to give yourself permission to be where you are right now.

Your journey is yours.

Your body is yours.

Your experiences, mistakes, successes, setbacks and achievements are yours.

And perhaps it's time we stopped treating ourselves as a project that constantly needs fixing.

I'm not suggesting we shouldn't want to grow or improve. I absolutely believe we should. But there is a big difference between wanting to become a better version of yourself and believing that who you are right now isn't good enough.

You don't have to earn the right to like yourself.

And you certainly shouldn't have to wait until you reach a certain goal, lose a certain amount of weight, achieve a particular level of success or become someone else's idea of “enough” before you allow yourself to feel good about who you are.

So, take a moment and think about your internal relationship.

Are you kind to yourself?

Do you give yourself the same encouragement you would give a friend?

Do you acknowledge how far you've come?

And can you look at yourself, your imperfections, mistakes, wrinkles, scars, failures and all and say:

“This is me. And I'm proud of the person I am becoming.”

Because perhaps the most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves.

And just like any important relationship, it deserves time, patience, kindness and love.

It's Never Too Late to start having a better relationship with yourself